as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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