I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
