I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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