I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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