now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
