like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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