careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
