No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
