dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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