She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
