shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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