I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
