I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
