hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
