So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
why is half of my head shaved?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
