i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize