Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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