Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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