What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize