she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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