Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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