I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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