I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
