We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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