Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
