Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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  (207): I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway? http://tfl.nu/bdir
  Replies (13) Good night (2484) Bad night (903)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

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  (301): Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands? http://tfl.nu/6ufe
  Replies (34) Good night (2365) Bad night (3133)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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  (443): when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her http://tfl.nu/gfqm
  Replies (123) Good night (740) Bad night (2566)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (129210) Bad night (3400)
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  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (1977) Bad night (10297)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.

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  (803): I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C. http://tfl.nu/06rr
  Replies (23) Good night (7140) Bad night (968)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.

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  (810): Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/tczv
  Replies (6) Good night (2645) Bad night (1030)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs

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  (908): Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs http://tfl.nu/h0qb
  Replies (9) Good night (3307) Bad night (1711)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (1001) Bad night (3405)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how

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  (401): How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how http://tfl.nu/4odx
  Replies (18) Good night (1397) Bad night (619)
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  (916): View more from California

  If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.

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  (916): If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it. http://tfl.nu/e2co
  Replies (5) Good night (764) Bad night (1069)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.

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  (705): We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman. http://tfl.nu/hp7f
  Replies (0) Good night (936) Bad night (357)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.

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  (203): No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places. http://tfl.nu/z30e
  Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (335)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.

  (206): View more from Washington

  WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN

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  (702): All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze. (206): WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN http://tfl.nu/b6xg
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (300)
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  (818): View more from California

  Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah

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  (818): Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah http://tfl.nu/4e6p
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (234)

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