tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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