I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
