They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
