And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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