I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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