p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
