normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
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