where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she was so not down for the gang bang
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
