dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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