no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
