he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
