...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
