You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
