Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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