you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
