it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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