I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this will be a night to untag.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
