Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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