First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
