based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
