you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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