I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
