Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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