I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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