I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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