party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
