Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
