I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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