is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
where does the pee come out of this thing
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
