He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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