me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
