My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
