i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize