Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
